Secret Life Page 10
The third most common place for an implant is in the sinus cavity underneath the eye. The Small Beings sometimes insert a sharp, thin needle downward into the tear duct and then into the sinus cavity below the eye and above the cheek. Like the other procedures, it is not painful, although it can cause swelling and sometimes black-and-blue marks. Once again people report that they “know” the aliens left an implant behind.
Abductees tell of other areas of implant placement, such as near the ovaries and in the lower abdomen in women, and even in the penile shaft in men, but the preferred places appear to be in the head.
STARING PROCEDURES
Throughout the abduction, both as a way of communicating with the abductee and, presumably, of examining and altering her mental and emotional state, the Beings stare deeply into the abductee’s eyes. For instance, during the first moments of an abduction, often before the abductee has been transported to the UFO, an alien inexplicably stares deeply into an abductee’s eyes. When the abductee is very excited or frightened during the abduction, an alien stares into her eyes, calming her. Staring can also alleviate an abductee’s pain. However, the most profoundly affecting of the staring procedures is Mindscan.
Mindscan
After the Small Beings complete the physical examination and implant the device, they stand back from the abductee. Then a Taller Being walks into the room. The Taller Being closely resembles the Small Being except that he is slightly taller, he might have subtly different facial features, he sometimes wears noticeable clothes, and he has an air of authority about him. He gives orders and the Small Beings obey. People often have strong and divided feelings about the Taller Being. Some hate him because he is clinical and brusque, and because he does “bad” things to them. Others feel he has more of a range of emotion and they can relate to him better than they can to the Small Beings. Abductees sometimes call him the doctor because of his demeanor and his task. He is usually very businesslike, with a detached, matter-of-fact attitude.
When the abductee attempts to communicate with the Taller Being, he usually responds with reassuring phrases, much as the Small Being does. But when “pushed” he will not respond directly to the questions asked. When an abductee asks, “What are you doing?” he may answer with a cryptic, “You know what we are doing.” When an abductee asks if they will ever stop doing this to her, the Taller Being might respond with, “You are very special to us” or, “This is very important and you are helping us.”
At times the Taller Being will perform the physical exam himself, but Mindscan is the focus of his attention. Mindscan entails deep, penetrating staring into the abductee’s eyes. Abductees commonly feel that data of some sort is being extracted from their minds. We do not know what the information is, how it is extracted, or what the Beings do with it. One abductee thinks that they transfer it to other Beings’ minds.
During Mindscan, the abductee lies on the table and the Taller Being stands next to her. He bends over and comes very close to the abductee, who may feel extremely frightened and threatened. He may even be close enough to touch foreheads with her. When asked how close the Taller Being is to them during Mindscan, Will Parker, Patti Layne, James Austino, and Lydia Goldman gave typical answers:
He’s right up in my face. Not quite touching my nose with his face, but he is almost that close.
(Will Parker, 33, 1988)
If he had a nose, it doesn’t seem that he does, not much of one anyway, it’s just pressed down as close to my nose as he can get without specifically touching.
(Patti Layne, 23, 1985)
How close is his forehead to you?
He is touching it. He is leaning right over and touching it…. My nose touches his face.
(James Austino, 21, 1987)
I just see what I am looking at and I see this thing moving and it looks like a monkey.
How close is this face to you?
I would say inches….
(Lydia Goldman, 4, 1936)
The Taller Being then gazes deeply into the abductee’s eyes. His black eyes, which lack pupils, occupy a huge amount of space on his face. They are spellbinding, riveting. He locks eyes with the abductee. Even though she tries, she cannot close her eyes or take her eyes off his. Most abductees feel overwhelmed by the procedure. They feel as if they are “falling into them [the eyes]” and achieving some sort of connection with the Taller Being. He may order her to “look at me!” to ensure proper contact.
I’m looking into those eyes. I can’t believe that I’m looking into eyes that big…. Once you look into those eyes, you’re gone. You’re just gone.
How do you mean that?
I can’t think of anything but those eyes. It’s like the eyes overwhelm me. How do they do that? It goes inside you, their eyes go inside you. You just are held. You can’t stop looking. If you wanted to, you couldn’t look away. You are drawn into them, and they sort of come into you….
Are your eyes open or closed?
My eyes are open, but my mind is sort of gone. I have no will. I have no will. I am absorbed and I’m not fighting it.
(Karen Morgan, 9, 1958)
Some people say that they feel that the Taller Being is “stealing their memories.” Others say that the effect is calming and soothing, and they are not as frightened as they were before. Both men and women report feeling vulnerable and violated. They are powerless to prevent this procedure from happening. If the abductee tries to close her eyes, the Taller Being tells her she must open them, and she does. Often the Taller Being’s hand is on the abductee’s head or shoulder while he completes his procedure.
Bonding
During Mindscan, the Taller Being can elicit specific emotions in the abductee, such as fear and terror. Often he will create an instant rush of pleasurable emotions in the abductee that “bonds” her to him. As he stares deeply into her eyes, she may feel that the Taller Being is really a “good” individual. She wants to help him. She wants to be with him. She wants to give herself to the Beings’ “program,” to help in any way she can. She does not want to leave. Sometimes there is a romantic and even sexual quality to these thoughts. Some women say that they “love” the Taller Being. They want to give themselves to him fully and completely. Men have similar feelings, especially if they perceive the alien to be “female.” Bonding can be a totally overwhelming experience.
Very young children undergo the same experience. But instead of strong romantic or sexual feelings, they usually consider the Taller Being to be “nice” and a “friend.” During abductions they are comforted that their “friend” is present to protect them. With children over age ten, however, the Taller Being might induce mature bonding feelings.
Lynn Miller was a Mennonite woman who had experienced a series of inexplicable events in her life. In one hypnotic regression, she remembered being abducted from her car near Tuckahoe, New Jersey. During the event, the Taller Being stared into her eyes intently and began the bonding procedure.
Can you tell if the person that’s looking in your eyes is the same one that was in the room when you first came in, or is he different?
Different.
How is he different?
Bigger.
So when he looks in your eyes, does he just do sort of a cursory examination, or does he go from one eye to the other eye, or is he just kind of staring into your eyes?
He’s staring into my eyes….
Is he touching you?
Yes.
Where is he touching you?
My head.
Now, as you look at him, what kind of feelings go through your mind?
Love.
By love, do you mean directed toward him, or just sort of amorphous?
It’s for everything.
Are you looking into his eyes also?
He makes me.
So he looks into your eyes and you get this sort of rush of pleasurable feelings again?
Yes.
When you have this rush of pleasurable feelin
gs, is there sort of a sexual component to this as well?
Yes.
Is it because of the situation of the vulnerability of it all, or… ?
I think from what he’s projecting… .
So he looks into your eyes for a while, and then what does he do? Then he goes down and does a gynecological exam….
(Lynn Miller, 31, 1987)
When Barbara Archer was twelve years old, she found herself in a room with forty or fifty tables. After her examination the Taller Being came over and performed Mindscan on her. I asked her if he was looking at her.
Yes.
Was he just kind of looking at random, or… ?
He looked into my eyes, and I really like him.
You looked in his eyes too?
Mm-hmm, but I just felt happy and I just lay down.
Did he kind of look in your eyes for just a short instant, or for a little bit longer?
No, for a little while. But I don’t feel sick anymore, I just feel a little chilly.
Now when you look into his eyes, what kind of feelings do you have?
He makes me feel happy. I think that he likes me.
Do you feel positive toward him?
Mm-hmm, he doesn’t scare me when I see him. The smaller guy scares me, but he’s okay because I feel like I know him, but not like this….
[The Taller Being then left Barbara for a short time and when he came back to her he resumed his bonding procedure.]
Then the tall guys comes back, and he asks me how am I doing, and I say I’m fine. And he looks at me again, looks at me for longer.
What kind of a feeling do you get when he looks at you?
I feel wonderful. I think that he’s wonderful.
Now when you’re looking at him, does this sort of have an almost romantic type of feeling to it?
A little bit, yes. He just makes me feel okay, makes me feel good.
[I asked her delicately if there was a sexual component attached to these feelings.]
Yes, I think that there is.
…you look at him and he looks at you, and you get this rush of positive feelings. Is that the way to describe it best?
Yes, I just feel like I fall into it.
Does he say anything, communicate anything while this is going on?
No, just a general happy feeling.
What do you think he’s doing?
I don’t know, I think he… I don’t know. I think he can read what’s in my mind, he knows what’s in my mind…. He makes me feel grown-up, sort of. When he says things to me he talks to me like I’m really young, but I feel womanly or something, I guess because I think that he thinks I’m attractive or something.
(Barbara Archer, 12, 1979)
Twenty-three-year-old Patti underwent a bonding procedure that attracted her to the Being. She struggled to explain what it was like.
So now he comes over and he sort of stares into your eyes. Do you have those same feelings of liking him?
Yeah, kind of liking him. Not being really threatened by him. Kind of sympathizing with his purposes, whatever they would be.
Patti, do any of these emotions seem sort of bordering on romantic feelings or anything approaching that?
Well, I don’t think he means it to be that way, but I may interpret it to be that way. Like he’s just so curious, and he’s looking at me with such questioning eyes, and maybe I interpret it that way. But he gives me a feeling, just kind of a head rush. A real head rush, just all different emotions. He’s trying to tap into me, maybe he’s just evoking things from me, it’s because he’s curious as to what they are… . A real powerful feeling, but it’s really, you can’t really describe it adequately. Romantic is just too shallow…. I think you become one with this thing. You’re happy. It’s just like a symbiotic relationship. It’s like you exist together with him, there, while your eyes are locked and you just kind of feed on each other, charge each other. It’s really a very hard thing to describe.
Do you have a feeling you have a certain vulnerability in this?
Yeah, I really do. Because he’s definitely the dominating one.
Do you feel that you’ve sort of given yourself over to him?
Um-hmm. Like possession in a way.
Does this have a sort of sexual component to it?
Yeah. In a way. It’s not unpleasant, though. It’s like you are meant to do this.
(Patti Layne, 23, 1985)
At times a female Being will perform Mindscan and bonding, especially with abductees who are children. (Somehow the abductees know that the alien is a female even though they see no anatomical differences.) The female Being is kind and sympathetic. She explains that they are not going to hurt the abductee. She considers the abductee to be a “very special” person who is helping them. She is grateful for this help. The alien might state that the abductee may even be “one of us.” She is very gentle and empathetic. The abductee cannot help but be fond of, or even love, this female Being.
When Jill Pinzarro was ten years old in 1959, she received a strong “friendship” impulse during the bonding procedure. A Taller Being stared at her, and she began to feel positive emotions.
It’s quite reassuring for some reason. I don’t know why it’s reassuring. It’s not love or care or anything like that, but there is a sense of connection to this Being, and it’s not false…. I guess there’s a sense of not even guardianship, but of being personally important in some way to this Being…. And the sense of protection too. I know I won’t come to harm, I know the Being cares about me to the extent that it cares, and that… it’s not cold, it’s limited but it’s not cold. In fact, in some ways it’s more than human beings give because even though it’s not as intense, it’s unconditional.
While he’s looking down at you and you’re getting this sort of feeling, does he touch your forehead or anything?
I can’t think of this as a he.
Do you think it’s female, or does that apply?
It’s more like a she than a he, more like a nonsex than either. But sort of leaning toward the she?
Yeah, just because of the nonmasculine quality of its personality. Maybe it’s the unconditional warmth or something. I don’t know. I don’t think men are so unconditional, maybe that’s why I’m picking this up.
Does this Being put his or her hand on your forehead while you’re thinking about all this?
As a matter of fact, yeah. I almost think that it wants me to look into its eyes, then it links up with me in that caring way, and then it touches my forehead and I feel quite calm and at peace. I think this one is a little different from the others in some way. I don’t mean physically…. I do feel such a strong emotional… emotional isn’t really the right word, but bond. I trust. I, to a degree, love, I think, because I so much need what is being given.
Does this feeling, as you’re lying there, have a slight sexual component to it as well, not necessarily directed toward them, but more amorphous?
Wait a minute, let me get ahold of this. There is, yeah, if you want to say that willing surrender is sexual, it’s there.
Is this a little bit confusing to a ten-year-old girl?
It’s not a child’s emotion. But who analyzes like that? It’s just something new.
Is it embarrassing?
It doesn’t have… no. I don’t think it’s embarrassing. I don’t have words. It’s desirable, good, beautiful, and shocking and traumatic, without having as much intensity as those words imply because I can’t analyze it, it’s just there.